Monday 11 March 2013

Ethan F's Swimming Sports Writing

At swimming sports I felt nervous when I got in. Then I heard the planks sounding like fire works. Then I raced in the freezing ice berg water. It felt like I was flying through space. Then I saw the finish line. Then I heard cheering. Then I came second. I felt proud as I hopped out.

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4 comments:

  1. Jo Stephens19 March 2013 at 22:47

    Great descriptive writing Ethan. I saw you racing at swimming sports and you did so well!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown12 April 2013 at 12:37

    Wonderfull work.Next time dont use the word then.

    from Elise and Slainey

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous15 April 2013 at 11:10

    I like how you used different words to tell what the planks sounded like . And I like the story as it was told . from Sam Ryan's brother

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous28 April 2013 at 19:56

    Amazing work just try not to use the word then because it makes your story a bit boring.

    Cherry Rm23

    ReplyDelete

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